That Time I Hid in a Bathroom Stall (And Other Embarrassing Stories)
Let’s be real—social anxiety isn’t just “being shy.” It’s sweating through your shirt before a coffee date. It’s rehearsing “hello” in the mirror 17 times. It’s canceling plans because what if they actually expect me to talk?
I used to think I was the only one who felt this way. Then I realized: Oh, wait—most of us are just faking it till we make it. Here’s how I went from hiding in closets to hosting (very quiet) game nights.
Middle School: Where My Anxiety Went Viral (In My Head)
Picture this: 13 years old, braces, and a haircut my mom called “adorable” (it wasn’t). Group projects were my personal hell. While everyone else joked around, I’d stare at my shoes like they held the secrets of the universe.
One day, a kid said, “Why are you so quiet? It’s weird.” Cue me eating lunch in the bathroom for a month.
What I Know Now:
- Kids are brutal. Adults are just better at hiding it.
- Avoiding people doesn’t make the fear disappear—it just gives it a megaphone.
According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), social anxiety affects over 15 million adults in the U.S.
The College Disaster That Changed Everything
Fast-forward to freshman year. My roommate dragged me to a party. Within 10 minutes:
- Someone asked what music I liked. I panicked and said “polka.”
- Spilled soda on a guy’s shoes.
- Hid in a bathroom until everyone left.
The walk home was a symphony of “I’m never leaving my dorm again.”
The Game-Changer:
I joined a tiny book club. Three members, zero small talk. Our first meeting? We read in silence for 30 minutes. It was glorious.
Job Interviews & Other Forms of Torture
At 22, I wore my “professional” blazer (read: my dad’s old suit jacket) to an interview. The manager asked, “What’s your greatest strength?”
My brain short-circuited. I whispered, “I… really like spreadsheets?” Spoiler: Didn’t get the job.
What Works Now:
- I practice answers on my cat. She’s a harsh critic.
- My go-to line: “I’m weirdly good at finding missing staplers.” (It’s true.)
The Wedding Where I Became One with the Wallpaper
My cousin’s wedding. Beautiful dress. Great DJ. Me? Memorizing exit routes. When someone asked, “How do you know the bride?” I froze and said, “We’re… both human?”
My Survival Kit Now:
- Show up early (fewer people = less panic).
- Find the snack table. Crunching chips gives you an excuse not to talk.
- Give yourself permission to bail after 30 minutes. No guilt.
How I Almost Lost My Best Friend (And Got Her Back)
My ride-or-die friend kept inviting me to brunch. I kept canceling. Finally, she stopped texting. Turns out, “I have to wash my hair” works exactly once.
The Fix:
I sent a cringe-y text: “I’ve been ghosting you because I’m terrified of being awkward. Wanna get tacos and not talk?”
She replied: “I thought you hated me. Let’s eat in silence.”
Things That Actually Helped (No Therapy Jargon)
- The “5-Second Rule”
See someone you wanna talk to?- 5…4…3…2…1…GO.
- Say literally anything. “Cool shoes!” → “Thanks, they light up!” → Congrats, you’ve socialized.
- The “Glitch Journal”
Every night, I write:- Today’s awkward moment: “Called my teacher ‘Mom’.”
- Silver lining: “Made the class laugh. I’m basically a comedian.”
- Breathing Like a Normal Human
- Breathe in (smell the pizza).
- Breathe out (blow out the candles).
- Repeat until your heart stops trying to escape your chest.
- Apps like Headspace offer guided meditations for panic attacks (check their YouTube channel)
Answers to Questions I Googled at 3 AM
“Will I ever stop feeling like a nervous potato at parties?”
Maybe. But honestly? Embrace the potato energy. Bring a bag of chips. People love chips.
“How do I explain this to my family?”
Try: “You know how you feel before a dentist appointment? That’s me before Thanksgiving dinner.”
“What if people think I’m rude?”
If they’re judging you for being quiet, they’re probably judging others for breathing too loud. Their problem, not yours.
“Can I get better without therapy?”
Therapy’s great, but I also learned from:
- YouTube videos of puppies failing at stairs (mood boost).
- Library books about introverts (shoutout to Susan Cain).
- Texting friends: “Having a panic attack. Send memes.”
The Day I Realized Nobody Cares (In a Good Way)
Last month, I tripped in a café and face-planted into a muffin. The barista said, “Happens every Tuesday!” and gave me a free cookie.
What I Learned:
- Most people are too busy worrying about their own muffin disasters to notice yours.
- Confidence isn’t about being smooth—it’s about laughing when you’re not.
Your Turn: Start Small (Like, Really Small)
- Text someone: “Hi. I exist.” (Bonus points if they reply.)
- Go to a store. Buy one thing. Say “thanks” to the cashier. You’ve just socialized.
- Watch a movie with a friend. No talking required. Popcorn is your safety net.
Final Thought:
Social anxiety isn’t a life sentence. It’s a crappy roommate you learn to live with. Some days, it’s loud. Others, you forget it’s there. And sometimes? You throw a pillow at it and yell, “Let me live!”
You’ve got this. And if you don’t? There’s always that bathroom stall. (Just don’t stay there forever.)